


If Jesus Hadn’t Slain That Giant Pumpkin

by blair_bitch_project



Category: The 100
Genre: Clexa, College AU, F/F, I hope?, It’s the pretend to date trope!, Lesbians, absolute sin at the end, and i’m Gay for it, as a MEAN BITCH, drunk jenga, everyone gets drunk, finn is in there, gay Tropes everywhere its a minefield, kind of comedic?, lexa is wonder woman, they’re dressed as superheros, until we hit the smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-08-24 15:02:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16642475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blair_bitch_project/pseuds/blair_bitch_project
Summary: Halloween college au for clexa. Clarke wants a fake date to make Finn jealous and who turns up but your friendly local lesbian, Lexa. Drunk times and gayness ensues and they’re both terrible at not getting feelings involved. The end is pure smut oops, so hopefully the rest of it will be worth the wait.





	If Jesus Hadn’t Slain That Giant Pumpkin

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY SPOOKYTIME KIDS!!!

..........................................................................................

The music pulsated through Clarke's stomach as she wound her way past gyrating bodies, her nose twitching at the slightly humid, sweaty tinge to the air. It seemed to her that the sweat smell tainting the hall around her was tastefully mingled with the overpowering stench of alcohol.  
'I think you just described a sweat brewery' Clarke muttered to herself, as she shouldered her way past a guy in a banana suit. It was a distinct aroma; the familiar house party smell that she was more than used to by now, but Clarke still wrinkled her nose up when Banana Boy thrust a cup of... something strong in her face. She should've known better than to take it but she was looking to get drunk tonight anyway, so she gave him a nod, tugged it from his grip and slid her way into the kitchen. 

Clarke was dimly aware that what she'd been handed was a "mostly-vodka-and-not-a-lot-of-coke" vodka and coke when it hit the back of her throat, and she winced past the manufactured taste to get a grip on her surroundings. She'd been to Raven's college frat house a few times, but at night, full of people and covered in Halloween decorations, it looked wildly different. Clarke downed the rest of her drink and cast her eyes over the swathe of costumed students clustered around the kitchen. She was pretty sure she could see some game of thrones rip offs by the huge, booming speakers, and could vaguely make out some ghostbusters wafting around. Several kinky devil outfits, a whole bunch of Zoolanders (for some reason?), some guy dressed as Harry Potter and a metric tonne of other characters in outfits ranging from hastily put together to painstakingly thought through. Clarke's own costume sat somewhere between the two. She'd impulsively ordered the Supergirl outfit online; more than aware that the skirt sat just about on the right side of being too short, that the cape was going to need cutting down quite considerably and that she was probably going to end up reusing it next year. She was blonde, it showed off her figure. It would do. What was more pressing than the costume situation right now was that the vodka-coke mix she'd downed was giving her a warm buzz, but she craved something stronger. In the dark of the room, Clarke strained her eyes to find the alcohol table, but to no avail. The crowds of people were barely illuminated save for the strobe lights Raven had rigged from the ceiling, and Clarke could only snatch glances of faces and bodies. Finding an alcohol table in this light was near enough mission impossible. 

A raucous cheer interrupted Clarke's train of thought and she glanced over her shoulder. She couldn't stop the grin that broke across her face from emerging when she spotted Raven dressed in a Kangaroo bodysuit, leering at some 6 foot jock over a game of beer pong. She turned heel and made an immediate beeline for their group. When she arrived she was greeted by Raven grinning and pulling her into a tight hug.  
"CLAAARKE! How's your halloween going?! You wasted yet?"  
Clarke laughed and batted her away, shooting a grin to Octavia who had come as one of the many Ghostbusters present in the room.  
"Actually I only just arrived," Clarke admitted, picking up one of the beer pong balls absent mindedly. "I was working overtime on my internship."  
Raven widened her eyes  
"Jeez, that sucks blondie. You fancy joining in with beer pong?"  
Clarke frowned and placed the ball back down.  
"I'm not sure I'd really be doing you guys any favours by joining. Besides, I need you to direct me to the beverage table."  
Raven didn't reply at first, she had bent over and was aiming a shot with a ball at the the cluster of red cups at the end of the table. She was putting genuine concentration into her aim- her tongue stuck out and her legs rocked her slowly back and forth as she concentrated. Clarke watched on in amusement; Raven's fierce competitiveness had always entertained her. Eventually Raven gently tossed the ball and it neatly plopped into the centre cup. The girl and her team erupted into a victorious cheer and Raven fist pumped dramatically. Across the table, Octavia groaned and eyed up what was presumably the next in what had been a long line of cups of beer she'd had to drink.  
"suCK ON THAT, O" Raven whooped, before turning back to Clarke with a huge grin plastered across her face.  
"Alcohol's on the far left wall Griffin. I'll speak to you when we're both wasted!" She called. Clarke gave her a small wave and a smile, before making her way to the table.

She couldn't count how many people she'd had to slip around to make it to the left wall, but by the time Clarke was at the alcohol table, she was pretty sure she'd been elbowed in the face at least three times and that she reeked of other people's sweat. She raked her gaze over the eclectic mess of used and unopened bottles, over the demolished bowl of green punch, over cans and cups and several lethal looking mixed drinks that coated the table. She eventually settled on coconut rum, and liberally poured a few measures into the red cup she still had clutched in her hand. She took a small sip and yelped when the thumping bass of the music made the cup slosh over a little. Aiming to head back to Raven's beer pong corner as she tried to wipe rum from her chin, Clarke turned on her heel and-

No.  
Oh god no.  
This could not be happening. 

Sixteen months ago Clarke had broken up with Finn.

She hadn't really wanted to, but when she found out that he was actually having an on-off deal with Raven at the same time, she'd kind of felt obligated to stop that train before it could go any further. She'd been angry at Finn for lying, she'd been hurt that he'd betrayed her, but worst of all, she'd had to tell Raven what had happened. Thankfully Raven had understood her side of the story (as much as Raven could), but she and Finn had a lot of very aggressive arguments. Clarke and Finn had just gone their separate ways. Clarke wouldn't ever want to let on to Finn that for months she had been completely heartbroken. She'd eventually got over him, moved on with her life. She hadn't had the energy or the trust to find someone new. All she felt for the boy now was mild anger and the slight urge to start a fight with him.

When she turned heel and spotted him dressed in a remarkably revealing caveman toga, leaning suggestively over a girl in an angel outfit, she couldn't help the lurch in her stomach.  
Finn had moved on.  
She was just another girl to him now.  
Clarke stood frozen for a minute, watching his smug smile, and his toned muscles. The girl next to him was laughing.  
Clarke really hadn't expected to see him ever again, let alone at Raven's house party and she wondered for a brief second why she'd invited him at all. She was just about to go off on a full-on sleuthing expedition when she realised that things were going to get irreversibly worse if Finn looked over and saw her, alone, in a Supergirl costume. Saw that she hadn't moved on with her life and was stuck, lonely at a halloween party, cradling a cup of coconut rum. Clarke made an executive decision to get as far away from him as possible. She began making her way back through the kitchen, aiming for the common room when an idea struck her. It came from the same, slightly unhinged part of her mind that wanted to kick Finn as hard in the balls as she could, but despite how ludicrous the idea was, she had to stop and consider it. Finn made her angry. She wanted to show Finn that her life was better without him.  
Clarke wanted to make him jealous.  
What was the easiest way to do that?  
Be in a relationship. 

It was cliche and Clarke knew it; she'd seen it done in countless rom coms and teen movies and each time it inevitably ended in disaster, but ultimately she didn't want to get with Finn; she just wanted him to be jealous. Plus, the people in teen films were dumb, she'd be able to pull this off easily.  
Clarke was going to find herself a fake date. 

As she eyed up the room curiously, Clarke decided that perhaps she shouldn't try too hard with this plan. The person would have to be a sensible choice, and eventually Clarke decided that she'd only consider asking them if they had similar costumes. She didn't want to get too carried away with this idea (and upon reflection it really was a dumb idea, but god help her she couldn't be seen alone in front of Finn). She gave up scouring the kitchen almost immediately; there were too many people and she was too close to Finn for her liking. Clarke was somewhat disoriented by the bright, strobe lights and the thudding music, not to mention the slight spell of dizziness brought on by the alcohol, but sure enough she found herself back in the corridor where she started. Her eye was caught by a boy in a spiderman outfit and she paused for a second to weigh up her options. The idea was shattered when he was joined by a girl in a matching spiderwoman outfit who stood up on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek.  
'Looks like he's taken Clarke' she thought to herself, pushing her weight against the wall to try and keep her balance. Really, the longer she looked the bleaker the situation seemed. She even found a jock dressed as Superman who was making sex eyes at her from the floor, but he looked just about ready to pass out, and was clutching a bowl presumably full of his own vomit to his chest. Clarke raised her eyebrows; that certainly wasn't going to impress Finn. With a sigh she shook her head and pressed her fingers to her temples. This had been a completely stupid idea. Maybe she should just pack it in for the night and go home. She wasn't really feeling up to it and seeing Finn with that girl had stirred an unwelcome anger in her that she couldn't really afford to deal with at a party. It was a first but Clarke was officially tired of a party after twenty minutes of being there. 

Clarke downed the last of the rum and cringed at the sickly sweet taste, throwing the cup to the floor in annoyance. She turned heel for what felt like the hundredth time that night, and made for the exit, only she never made it there. Instead she walked straight into what she could only describe as a "tall portion of pure sex appeal". Clarke barely had time to fix her gaze on the girl's features before they were distorted in a look of surprise, and the bottle she had been holding spilled over onto the floor. Clarke jumped back in surprise and began a stuttered apology.  
"Oh jesus I'm so sorry I didn't see you there..."  
The girl laughed and wiped her beer-covered hand on her outifit in an effort to dry it off.  
"Hey don't worry about it... It's kinda dark in here."  
While it may be dark, it was light enough for Clarke to sweep her eyes up the outfit the girl was wearing. It was a Wonder Woman costume, and it looked pretty much like the real deal. The girl herself was tall and the tiny one-piece she was wearing simply emphasised her long legs and well-toned arms. When Clarke didn't reply, she spoke up again. 

"Hey hang on, I know you, don't I?" She asked. Clarke snapped out of her daze and flicked her eyes up to lock her line of sight on the girl.  
"Uhhh do you?" She muttered weakly, raising an eyebrow in confusion. She had to admit, the girl looked vaguely familiar, but she could barely tell past the black warpaint she had smeared around her eyes. The girl grinned.  
"Skinny caramel latte, right?" She asked. Clarke's jaw dropped fractionally. Coffee. This girl had served her coffee a week back. She remembered at the time she'd been distracted by her piercing green eyes. They'd joked about the weather outside. What was more pressing for Clarke was the fact that the girl had remembered her and her coffee order. She was pretty sure she wouldn't be able to drink a caramel latte again without having some kind of a psychotic breakdown. She laughed casually through her current psychotic breakdown and nodded.  
"Yeah, that's right! How'd you remember that?"  
The girl shrugged.  
"I guess you've got a memorable face. I'm Lexa by the way." She extended a hand to Clarke formally, like a businesswoman. Clarke's brain stalled and had to perform an official reboot before she took her hand and shook it nervously, her grip fumbling through a haze of alcohol (it WAS just alcohol though. Honestly).  
"I'm Clarke. Do you go to this college too?" She asked. Lexa nodded and extracted her hand from Clarke's grasp.  
"Thankfully my talents go beyond making crap coffee. I'm doing business. What about you?"  
Clarke raised her eyebrows. That would explain the handshake.  
"Uhhh medicine. I'm doing an internship currently at the hospital." Lexa nodded slowly to herself and took a sip from her beer. It seemed like her eyes were invading Clarke's personal space, roaming her up and down and trying to get a measure of her. 

Clarke wasn't so good under pressure and she coughed nervously and rubbed the back of her neck, trying desperately to think of something to say.  
"So uhh... are you seeing anyone?"  
That was absolutely not the something she'd been looking to say. Where in the good fuck had that even come from? Clarke made a mental note not to let her mind run on autopilot ever again.  
Lexa raised an eyebrow in surprise  
"Excuse me?"  
Clarke swallowed in pure panic and scrabbled for purchase.  
"No it's not like that. I just uhhh..."  
And suddenly Clarke's Fantastic Idea had returned for it's second debut in her head.  
"Okay hear me out here, cause this is going to sound super bad, okay?" Clarke muttered weakly. Lexa shifted her weight and settled against the wall, fixing Clarke with a curious glance as she swigged on her drink.  
"Go ahead Clarke, I'm all ears."  
Clarke had a bit of trouble getting the sentence together initially after hearing Lexa use her name so naturally, but eventually she pulled herself together and began speaking, the words all tumbling from her mouth in a panic.  
"Okay so basically, like a year ago me and my ex split up because he cheated on me and I'm totally over him now but I hadn't seen him whatsoever and then suddenly he was here tonight with this other girl, and I know if he sees me he'll be asking me how my life's been going and all that shit but I honestly have nothing to show for myself apart from a crappy internship and a cup of coconut rum which now resides on the floor over there somewhere." Clarke gestured vaguely to the floor by the obliterated Superman, and Lexa raised an eyebrow in total confusion.  
"...Right?" She muttered, clearly having no clue where this conversation was going. Clarke took a breath and tried to make sure whatever came out of her mouth next was actually coherent. 

"Okay yeah, so basically I wanted to make him believe I was completely over him, which I am, and I also kinda wanted to make him jealous cause I feel he deserved it after being such a dick and causing me and my friend Raven so much hurt and stuff so uh... I was kinda looking for someone to be a fake date for me."  
Lexa stayed silent; it seemed she was thinking something over. Clarke began wringing her hands nervously.  
"So you want me to pretend to be your girlfriend?" Lexa eventually spoke up. Clarke swallowed anxiously and nodded.  
"Yeah but if you don't want to I absolutely don't mind because I get this is a totally dick thing to ask. And like obviously if you wanted paying I'm absolutely happy to do that."  
Lexa didn't reply. Clarke fidgeted, nerves wracking her. This had been a truly terrible idea. She couldn't just HIRE some random girl and expect her to pretend to be with her when she was meant to be enjoying herself at this Halloween party. Real smooth Clarke.  
"Look, don't worry about this. Pretend I never asked Lexa, I don't want to ruin your evening. I never should have even thought about this it was just really using and-"

"I'll do it."

Clarke practically choked.  
"I'm sorry what?"  
"Be your fake date Clarke. I'll do it. So long as you buy me a twix."  
Clarke was speechless. Lexa had agreed? Was she that drunk? Was Clarke that drunk?  
"I'll buy you a whole bag of twix every Halloween for the rest of my life if you do this for me." Clarke found herself blurting.  
"You are aware that's not how bargaining is meant to work?" Lexa smirked. Clarke felt her face reddening.  
"I'm not turning down that deal though," Lexa added, downing her beer. "I guess I've only got one thing to say Caramel Latte. Take me to your cheating jerk."  
"Do not call me that ever again."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Lexa he's RIGHT THERE how aren't you seeing him?"  
Clarke groaned in frustration. She had locked her gaze on Finn who seemed to have glued his face to the angel girl's, and was now having major difficulty pointing him out to Lexa.  
"Have you seen how dark it is in here??? I probably wouldn't be able to find my own mother if you shoved her 8 foot away from me in this room."  
Clarke sighed and gave in pointing. Just as she was going to suggest going over to the couple she was ambushed by Raven. The girl came crashing into Clarke and Clarke yelped, desperately trying to keep her upright.  
"Jesus Raven are you okay?"  
"Clarke I am ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT haveadrink you don't look wasted enough yet." She slurred, pushing a bottle of what looked like a vodka mixer into Clarke's hands. Clarke shrugged and took a swig from it, still supporting Raven over her arm. Raven narrowed her eyes and stared at Lexa suspiciously.  
"Whose the hot Wonder Woman?" She stage whispered to Clarke. The blonde swallowed nervously and looked to Lexa for help. Lexa stuttered into life, clearing her throat before speaking.  
"Uhh I'm... Clarke's girlfriend..?" She managed meekly. Raven's jaw dropped.  
"No WAY. Clarke why didn't you tell me you were dating this hot piece of ass? How long has this been a thing what the FUCK?"  
Clarke tried her best to shrug casually, despite the impending promise of going into cardiac arrest.  
"Uhhh well we've not been together too long. I just wanted to keep it on the low I guess?"  
Raven nodded in understanding. Clarke was relieved when she didn't ask any more questions and blamed it purely on her drunken stupor.  
"C'mon let's go introduce Wonder Woman to Octavia..." Raven announced excitedly, grabbing Clarke by the arm and beginning to drag her off through the crowd. Clarke snatched Lexa's arm and pulled her with them, unable to escape her shorter friend's deceptively strong grasp. 

Ultimately Clarke hadn't wanted to have to fake-introduce Lexa to all her friends; it was just going to thicken the web of lies she was putting in place but it seemed she had little choice when Raven thrust her in front of O.  
"OCTAVIA CLARKE HAS A GIRLFRIEND" Raven shrieked. Octavia whirled around and choked.  
"I'm sorry what?"  
Unfortunately Octavia somehow wasn't as wasted as Raven and Clarke blamed this on a presumably long history of her losing to Raven at beer pong. What it meant was even more questions and quizzing, and Clarke began to get the feeling Octavia was suspicious.  
"So where did you two meet?" She demanded. Both girls answered at the same time.  
"Coffee shop"  
"College".  
Clarke laughed in what she hoped was a genuine manner.  
"My bad, we went for coffee on our first date." Lexa quickly covered and casually threw an arm around Clarke's shoulder. Clarke couldn't hide the blush that spread across her face.  
"...Right. And how long has this been a thing?" Octavia asked. Lexa winced and croaked a reply.  
"Ooooh well looking back on it all I want to say perhaps 3 mo-"  
Clarke kicked her in the leg.  
"Well it feels like three months but REALLY it's only been two." Lexa quickly added. Octavia looked affronted.  
"You didn't think to tell me about any of this in TWO MONTHS Clarke???"  
Clarke cleared her throat in embarrassment.  
"We just... wanted to keep it on the low Octavia. Make sure we were happy together before telling everyone." Thankfully, any more doubts Octavia had she kept to herself, and she somewhat bitterly congratulated the two of them before returning to talking with Murphy, who was dressed as a jedi. It wasn't long before the two could slip away, and Clarke blew a sigh of relief as Lexa slid her arm from her shoulders. 

"Well that was horrific" Clarke muttered bitterly. Lexa merely shrugged.  
"Could've been worse... we just need to properly sort out stuff about how we met. Plus I forgot to ask, am I allowed to put my arm round you?"  
Clarke nodded, probably far too enthusiastically.  
"Go for it Lex."  
She partially hated how easily the nickname had slipped off her tongue, and the slight flash of something unidentifiable that washed across Lexa's face when she said it. Unfortunately she also partially loved it and wanted to say it again, just to see Lexa's face do that one more time. Clarke took a swig from the vodka bottle and offered it to Lexa, who shook her head.  
"Spirits are usually a dangerous thing for me to drink" she explained. Clarke snorted.  
"Surely you're too tall for a lightweight" A smile tugged at the corners of the brunettes mouth, but she shook her head and glanced over the room of people, all moving in time to the thudding music.  
"Shall we go find this Finn guy and get this over with?" She asked, and Clarke nodded through another gulp from her bottle. She raked her eyes over the students before she managed to glimpse Finn's tiger striped toga flashing through the common room. Without warning she grabbed Lexa by the hand and pulled her through the kitchen, the alcohol shifting the room around her once again, and giving her newfound confidence.

When they finally made it to the common room, Clarke had to ignore the fact that Lexa's gaze was locked on her hand, and pulled her to the far corner. It wasn't as busy in here, and the music was muffled. It was dimly lit by ceiling lights, and Clarke nodded toward Finn, fighting off the dizziness in her vision as she guided Lexa's gaze toward him.  
"That's him. In the caveman... thing."  
Lexa nodded, and leaned against the wall, and Clarke followed suit.  
"I see him."  
He was surrounded by a few of his friends, and out of the corner of their eyes they glanced at Clarke from across the room, vaguely remembering her from hanging around with Finn. A few of them began to nudge and jostle Finn and Lexa moved closer to Clarke so their faces were at an uncomfortably near proximity. Clarke's eyes widened and she tried to blink off the alcohol haze.  
"Take my hand Clarke" Lexa whispered, and obligingly, she fumbled and intertwined their fingers. Lexa swallowed. Clarke darted her eyes to and from Finn.  
"Is he looking?"  
Lexa's eyes were locked on Clarke's and she leaned forward, so she was whispering in her ear.  
"Yeah I think so. I'm gonna lean over you, is that okay?" Lexa muttered.  
"Yeah, sure." Clarke's heart was hammering at a breakneck speed.  
It was because of Finn.  
Completely because of him.

Lexa was continually talking at her as if everything was completely natural in this position, her eyes darting back towards Finn every now and then.  
"So how do you know Raven?"  
Clarke drank more from her bottle.  
"We went to the same highschool and were-that is to say still are- best friends. What about you?"  
Lexa licked her lips and Clarke was pretty sure one of her own lungs punctured.  
"Friend of a friend. My bud Anya knew one of Ravens friends and invited me along so... here I am" she said with a small smile. It was cut off abruptly when she saw Finn looking from the corner of her eye. And he was properly looking. Clarke's face immediately flashed with panic.  
"What is it, is he looking?"  
"Shhh I'm checking."  
"dON'T TELL ME TO SHUSH" Clarke hissed. Lexa eventually gave her a nod, grinding her teeth so that the muscles in her jaw flexed.  
"Okay, yeah he's looking. I mean, properly looking. And whispering to his friends."  
Clarke narrowed her eyes.  
"Kiss me."  
"I'm sorry what?"  
Clarke was adamant (and full of alcohol).  
"I said kiss me."  
Lexa raised her eyebrows.  
"Well if you're sure latte girl..."  
"Yes I'm sure and don't fucking call me that."  
Lexa shrugged and kissed her. 

Clarke had to say, the girl really knew how to put on a show. The brunette had slowly leaned into the kiss, practically teasing her before their lips met. It was slow and careful, and Lexa had gently brushed their noses as she shifted position, sweeping her tongue over Clarke's bottom lip. Clarke couldn't help the small hitch in her breathing as she responded with her tongue, and slipped a hand to Lexa's waist. It was soft, it was gentle, it was careful.  
And then it was over. 

Just like that Lexa pulled away and glanced over to Finn.  
"Yeah he's looking flustered, that's for sure."  
"Jesus christ Lexa"  
Clarke was having issues remembering how to breathe.  
"What's up?" Lexa muttered "did I do something wrong?"  
Clarke shook her head as she replied.  
"No I just- hang on is he coming over here?"  
Lexa whipped her head around.  
"Shit, yeah."

The two had a harder time backing off from one another and trying to appear natural than humanly imaginable, but by the time Finn had made it over, they were all smiles, leaned up against the wall and waving cheerfully to him.  
"Hey Finn!" Clarke called. Finn gave her a curt nod.  
"Hey. How's it going Clarke?"  
"Pretty damn good thanks. How about you, how's your Halloween been?"  
Finn narrowed his eyes and glanced up and down her body, his eyes darting to Lexa.  
"Spooky enough. Just thought I'd head on over and catch up with you cause we haven't spoken in months."  
Clarke raised an eyebrow  
"Over a year actually. And not a lot's happened really. I'm working at the hospital now." She explained, watching the boy chew this over.  
"Nice. And this is...?" he asked, nodding to Lexa.  
"Oh, I'm her girlfriend, Lexa" she replied, smoothly, flashing him a small smile. The reaction was immediate, and Clarke watched in pure amusement as Finn's gaze turned to panic, and he cleared his throat.  
"Oh so you're like... a real thing?" He muttered. Clarke nodded.  
"Uh huh. How's things with you?" Clarke asked sweetly.  
"Well uhhh, not a lot's going on really." He muttered, laughing nervously. "I'm doing a catering course with an internship at a local cafe. Plus I'm not seeing anyone so... y'know..." he said with a meek shrug.

"What about that girl you were with earlier?" Lexa bluntly cut in, shifting her weight to stand closer to Clarke. Finn's eyes almost immediately darkened.  
"Well uhh, you know how it is, she was just. A friend."  
Lexa nodded smugly. Clarke narrowed her eyes and drained a quarter of the vodka from the bottle she was holding before speaking up again, her speech getting gradually more slurred.  
"I'm sure you're a great friend to her Finn." She mumbled, with an extra pat on the shoulder for good measure.  
Lexa raised an eyebrow sceptically and tried to gauge Finn's reaction. He looked confused more than anything, and quickly brushed Clarke's hand off his shoulder. 

"Yeah, well. I'm not sure you can really talk about the whole "friend" thing Clarke." He muttered quietly.

Clarke frowned at him, taken aback.  
"And wha's that supposed to mean Finn?"  
Lexa dropped her gaze to Clarke's bottle, starting to wonder how much she'd been drinking prior to them meeting.  
"Well you've hardly made an effort to contact me." Finn bulldozed ahead. Clarke snorted.  
"Oh so what, after you cheated on me I was meant to act like your best friend? Get down on my hands and knees and worship you in your... your stupid Flintstone costume. I COULD call you a Finnstone but I'm currently being pissed off and I guess I'm not meant to YabbadabbaDO that... ay?" Clarke turned to Lexa and gave her a wink and a set of sloppy fingerguns, before raising the vodka bottle to her mouth. Finn looked completely lost. Lexa raised her eyebrows and snatched Clarke's bottle from her lips.  
"Yeah okay Clarke, I think you've had enough of that." She muttered. Clarke pouted and rolled her eyes, but staggered, and clutched onto Lexa's shoulder for support.  
"I'm absolutely FINE Lesssss-xa. It's that boy that's the issue. Finn I hope you enjoy your life because honestly, it's not going to Yabbadabba get any better."  
Lexa blinked in pure disbelief and muttered under her breath.  
"Wow, okay. That one didn't even make any sense."  
Finn was clenching his jaw and flexing his fists and Lexa was starting to get worried he was going to hit someone.  
"Look Finn, thank you for your time but Clarke isn't really with it right now. It might be best for you to go join your friends and have a good evening; I'll go take care of Clarke, okay?"  
Finn stood, seething and weighing up his options for a minute longer before giving Lexa a curt nod and promptly striding away, back across the room, seemingly ignoring Clarke half heartedly shouting  
"You yabbadabba go girl" after him. 

Lexa blew a sigh of relief and adjusted her grip on Clarke who was still leaning on her for support.  
"C'mon let's get out of here." Lexa muttered, and began leading the blonde out of the common room and through the kitchen.  
"Where are we going your highness?"  
"To get some air, Clarke." Lexa shouted over the deafening music. 

It was an easier task said than done, leading a drunk and disoriented girl through a kitchen full of around 50 people in costume when you yourself didn't know the house. After five minutes of failed attempts, Lexa got directions from a friendly guy in an astronaut suit and a bottle of water from his friend, and she and Clarke finally escaped the stuffy, sickly confines of the frat house to the Great Outdoors. Clarke made to sit down almost immediately, but Lexa shook her head and gestured to the girl two foot away, who was being noisily sick into a bush. Despite her drunken haze, Clarke got the message and followed Lexa round the side of the house, where it seemed they were actually alone. Lexa helped Clarke sit down and leant her against a shabby wall. She unscrewed the lid of the water and handed it down to Clarke before sitting down herself.  
"Small sips Supergirl. Just take it easy."  
Clarke nodded blearily, clearly regretting drinking that much alcohol in such a short amount of time.  
Perhaps she should have eaten something for lunch after all. She dropped her head between her knees and groaned, and felt a hand gently rubbing her back, and heard a voice calmly shushing her, telling her she was going to be okay. Eventually Clarke sat back up and the hand slid from her back. She felt slightly bare without it.

There were a few minutes of silence while she sipped on the water and tried to blink off the spinning the night sky seemed to be doing, and then she finally spoke up.  
"Thank you for that Lexa... for helping me with Finn."  
Lexa shrugged and gave her a small smile.  
"He was being a total jerk Clarke, I had to take care of him."  
"Yeah but even just agreeing to do this in the first place, and now looking after me at the moment; you've been way too good to me."  
Lexa cocked her head and studied Clarke's face, a smile still pulling at the corners of her mouth.  
"You better still buy me that twix." She joked, and Clarke laughed.  
"I promised you a bag every year and believe me, I'll stick right to that promise."  
There was a moment's silence as both girls studied each other, their eyes darting frantically over one another's features, and Clarke felt her face heat up so quickly began speaking again.

"I didn't know Wonder Woman wore war paint." She muttered. Lexa stared at her hands.  
"She doesn't. I just wanted an excuse to put some on."  
Clarke nodded slowly, her eyes carefully studying the streaked black paint smeared over Lexa's eyes. It suited her. Made her look stronger and more imposing. In another life she could have been a warrior.  
"You look like a racoon" she muttered, reaching a hand out and gently brushing her fingers over the paint on Lexa's cheek. The girl blinked but didn't move away, her face still frustratingly straight.  
"Wasn't really what I was going for."  
"No I didn't mean it like that. I like it; I think it looks..."  
And then Clarke trailed off because she couldn't keep her eyes from Lexa's mouth any longer, and all she could think about was that god damn, stupid kiss earlier and how Lexa had felt and tasted and how soft that stupid, stupid kiss was and she wanted to do it again. She wanted Lexa to kiss her again, and Clarke was obviously about to become a candidate for the Most Brash Behaviour Ever because she was shutting her eyes and leaning in to kiss the brunette as if that was totally natural. 

Unfortunately, Clarke never made it there, because Lexa had pulled free from her hand and leaned back.  
"You are aware Finn isn't out here, right?" Lexa laughed nervously.  
Clarke snapped her eyes open.  
Oh god.  
(Abort mission.)  
Clarke sat back and glanced around wildly as if she'd only just noticed they were alone at the side of the house.  
(Repeat, abort mission, send everyone home. It's all a fucking shambles RETURN TO BASE.)  
Lexa hadn't wanted that WHATSOEVER and oh god Clarke had been caught with FEELINGS how did that even happen? Why did she get caught up in feelings the one time she wasn't allowed to??? And now she had just been straight up rejected.  
(NEW INSTRUCTIONS, IT'S EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF. RUN FOR THE HILLS, DON'T STOP FOR ANYONE. RUN ON AUTOPILOT IF NECESSARY, JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.)  
Clarke fake-narrowed her eyes and pretended to peer into a bush in the distance.  
"Oh, isn't he? I thought uhhh... I thought I saw him in that. Bush. Over there." Clarke vaguely pointed to some bush where Finn wasn't standing. (Smooth)  
Lexa strained her eyes to see the bush.  
"Which one?"  
"That one" Clarke said, pointing to nothing in particular.  
(If we kill ourselves, will it save a lifetime of torture?)  
Lexa shook her head, bemused and shrugged it off.  
"I think we have him fooled." She muttered in an almost whisper, nudging Clarke in the side.  
(This girl is too pure.)  
Clarke snorted and took a sip of her water, staring off into the darkness past the house and ignoring the blush creeping across her face.

The air was much colder and it felt cleaner out here. Clarke's head was starting to clear a little and the nausea rooted in her stomach began ease off, but she still couldn't shake the heavy feeling in her gut every time she glanced over at the brunette, and she tried to keep her eyes from straying to her face too often.  
Perhaps that was easier said than done.

The two girls stayed outside for another half hour, but Clarke could've sworn it was half the time. They talked about everything over the dim thump of the music from indoors. They joked about their professors, they laughed about previous drunk experiences, Clarke spoke about why she hadn't dated since Finn, and Lexa listened. There was also piss-taking.  
A lot of piss-taking. 

Eventually Clarke seemed to start sobering up, and began shivering in the cold night air. Perhaps her short one-piece dress hadn't been such a great idea after all. She noticed the goosebumps crawling up Lexa's arms when the girl turned and eyed her up, and tried not to flinch when the brunette snaked an arm round Clarke's shoulders, and pulled her into her chest. Clarke kept her eyes on the bushes in front of her and gritted her teeth as she leant her head on Lexa and tried not to literally moan when she smelt the brunette's perfume and the alcohol on her breath. This world really was painful.  
Just as Clarke began to settle into the rise and fall of Lexa's breathing, the patio door slammed open behind them, and Raven burst out of the house. Clarke jumped and flung herself from Lexa's grip in a flurry of panic.  
"RAVEN!!!"  
"ClaRKE GET IN HERE WE'RE ABOUTTA PLAY DRUNK JENGA AND I WANNA SEE YOUR GIRLFRIEND GET PISSED."  
Lexa snorted and unfurled herself from the floor, extending a hand to help Clarke to her feet.  
"Dear god Raven you're drunk already are you sure-"  
"Bitch I'm always sure, now get you and wonder woman inside before I forfeit you a bunch of shots."  
Clarke sighed, raised an eyebrow and accepted Lexa's hand, pulling herself unsteadily to her feet. It was time to play drunk jenga. 

It was quieter inside the house than before, and Raven lead them through to the common room. All of the chairs and sofas had been pushed against the walls, and in the centre of the room sat a set of jenga bricks (already built up thank god), and surrounding it Octavia, Bellamy, Murphy, Finn (and his "friend"), and a bunch of students Clarke didn't even know. Raven sat the pair down next to O and stood before them all, clapping her hands to bring down the low murmur of conversation filling the room.  
"Alrighty suckers, here's how it works. You take out a brick. If the brick has a challenge on it, do the challenge. If you complete the challenge you nominate someone to drink, and pour some of whatever you fancy in the forfeit cup. If you fail, you have to drink the entire contents of the forfeit cup. If you knock over the stack you take a shot for everyone in the group. Are we all clear?"  
There were slow nods from the entire group. Raven grinned.  
"Nice. I'm nominating Octavia to go first seeing as she lost at beer pong." Raven announced smugly, and sat down opposite Clarke. Octavia booed her from across the circle, but pulled out a brick regardless.  
"It says left person chooses your drink."  
Raven nodded and gestured to Lexa.  
"You choose her a shot Wonder Woman."  
Lexa furrowed her brow and pointed to a bottle of cherry vodka to the left of the pile of alcohol. Octavia shot her a grin.  
"A fine choice Lexa." She said with a wink, reaching for the bottle and taking a swig. Clarke couldn't help the pang of jealousy that rose in her gut, and she stared intensely at the carpet as Octavia poured a generous helping of the cherry vodka into the dreaded Forfeit Cup.

It was Bellamy's turn next, and he had to nominate someone to do two shots of his choice. Out of what must have been the orders of Raven he nominated Lexa, and Clarke watched with intrigue as Lexa downed two whiskey shots without complaint other than a wince as it burnt the back of her throat.  
"Time to find out how much of a lightweight you really are" Clarke murmured to Lexa, and watched the girl's stoic expression waver for half a second.  
Perhaps this was going to be fun.

It all went fairly smoothly to begin with, until Murphy got his brick. Raven had had to make a beer pong shot, the jocks had done a mixture of shots and one of them had to remove 3 items of clothing. Still the Forfeit Cup filled up. Finn had had a dare block, and Raven had dared him to streak outside the freshman housing, screaming, which he had duly done. Lexa had been nominated for shots twice more, and Clarke was starting to notice her loosening up. She was beginning to get kind of... giggly which Clarke certainly hadn't seen coming, and by the time they got round to Murphy, everyone was at least on the wrong side of tipsy, except Clarke (which was a complete miracle). Murphy's block instructed him to choose a card from the deck, and take however many shots were shown as the number on the card.  
He pulled a nine.  
To his credit, Murphy took all nine shots, but eight minutes later he and Finn were in eachothers arms and half the vodka had been "secretly" added to the Forfeit. Bellamy was attempting to show Octavia a magic trick with the leftover cards but in all honesty it hadn't worked at all, and Lexa was snorting into her cup as he failed to find Octavia's card for the third time.

"LEXA NEEDS TO HAVE A GO." Raven shrieked over everyone, and almost immediately they fell silent, watching Lexa in total captivation. Lexa swallowed nervously and reached toward the jenga pile. Clarke couldn't help but notice the slight tremor in her hands and couldn't decipher whether it was from nerves or the alcohol. Thankfully she extracted the block without knocking over the structure, and took a second to read it, her eyebrows furrowing.  
"Plank for five minutes" she announced. Octavia brought out her phone and began setting a timer.  
"No wait wait wait." Lexa said, holding up her hands. "That's too easy. Y'all don't realise I work out. I'm gonna make this a real challenge." With that she turned to Clarke.  
"Clarke sit on my back."  
Clarke choked.  
"I'm sorry, what?"  
Lexa was already setting herself up in the plank position, her toned arm muscles strained under the effort as she walked her legs out behind her.  
"Hop on my back Griffin. I haven't got time to be waiting around here."  
Clarke quickly came to terms with the fact that she wasn't going to have a say in this, so waited until Lexa was in position, then awkwardly straddled her from above, reluctant to put her full weight on the brunette.  
"Clarke hurry up."  
Clarke could quite literally see every achingly well defined muscle in her back, and frankly she was starting to get a dry mouth. How could Lexa expect her to just lay on her like that, especially when she was going through the gayest breakdown she'd ever-  
"cLARKE!"  
Lexa's shout jolted her back to life, and so Clarke finally lowered herself, her arms wrapped around Lexa's neck and her legs around her torso.  
"okay I've started the timer." Octavia announced. 

When you're straddling quite possibly the most attractive girl you've met, five minutes drags on an infuriating amount of time. As it turns out, planking with a fully grown woman on your back drags five minutes out rather considerably as well, and by the time Lexa hit the two minute mark her limbs were already shaking from the exertion. Clarke could feel a sheen of sweat building around the girl's neck and exposed back, and had to squeeze her eyes shut and ground herself from doing something completely uncalled for. Lexa was having some real issues thirty seconds later, and the groan that tore from her throat as she forced her limbs to keep her above the ground was causing Clarke equally as many issues. When Octavia called three minutes, Lexa's arms spasmed and she finally dropped with a grunt, her chest heaving. The others all whooped and jeered, and Raven grabbed the Forfeit Cup proudly. Clarke scrambled off of Lexa, worried she'd potentially crushed her, but after a second she rolled over and groaned.  
"Yeah okay, that would have been much easier without Clarke riding me."  
Why did you have to choose those exact words Lexa?  
Lexa wearily sat up and found the Forfeit Cup thrust in her face.  
"Oh god."  
"Raven she'll die if she..."  
Lexa had taken it. Clarke widened her eyes in horror; Lexa's warning about spirits being a bad idea for her ringing all too clear. Without warning she snatched the cup from Lexa's mouth, ignoring that it spilt down her costume and quickly downed the remainder herself. The look of absolute shock Lexa gave her suggested that Clarke might as well have just taken a bullet for her.  
"You'll thank me tomorrow babe." She muttered, patting Lexa on the shoulder.  
Babe. That was new.  
She chose not to ignore the way Lexa's eyes had darkened the second she'd called her babe. This really was a downward drunken spiral. Clarke was adamant to break the eye contact going on between the two of them so clapped her hands together and began speaking again.  
"RigHT MY GO."  
She didn't let her hand quiver as Lexa's had as she reached for a jenga block and tried to slide it out as nimbly as she could through the drunk fog already clouding her judgement. Thankfully she didn't knock anything down, and she breathed a slow sigh of relief as she pulled the block free. She wasn't worried about whatever was on the block. Clarke could manage another few shots. Probably. She didn't really want to remove any clothes in front of Finn and Bellamy and Raven but if it came to it she'd manage. Whatever it was, Clarke would find a way to deal with it.

Except that. Clarke thought to herself as she turned the wooden brick over.  
Definitely not that.  
She considered briefly stuffing it back in the pile but everyone was staring at her avidly and she was pretty sure O had seen it.  
"What's it say?" Raven asked.  
Clarke blanched.  
Did she really have to answer this? In all honesty she wanted to get up and go home, but everyone was staring at her expectantly, including Lexa.  
Great.

Clarke shut her eyes and breathed in deeply, and held the block up for everyone to see. So they could read the four words that were probably about to force her into gay cardiac arrest. 

"Seven minutes of heaven."

There was even a helpful arrow at the bottom signifying that it was the person to her left. Who of course was Lexa. Of course it was. She fancied Lexa and Lexa didn't fancy her so of course it was going to fucking well be her. Obviously. And now Finn was staring at her and everyone had seen so they didn't have a choice whatsoever considering they were meant to be a couple. The gay trope mobile was clearly accelerating at full throttle and Clarke had no way to get off.  
Of course.  
This was just her luck.

Seven minutes of heaven  
<\------

..........................................................................................

"I'll raise you two more bags of twix if you do this for me" Clarke hissed. Her heart was thudding with panic; partly because she didn't want to force Lexa into doing this, and partly because she knew they were going to have to at least pretend to make out because they were meant to be a couple. She was vaguely aware of Raven jeering in the background and making some crude gesture, but her eyes were nervously flitting over Lexa's face. Before she could try and decipher her expression Lexa piped up.  
"Why?"  
"Because we're meant to be pretending to be a fake couple. We don't even have to do anything except stand in a closet for seven minutes" Clarke muttered.  
"No, not that. I meant why raise me anything Latte girl?"  
Lexa was blatantly drunk and mildly infuriating but Clarke was relieved that she was at least willing to go along with this.  
"Don't call me that." Clarke muttered, rolling her eyes.  
"Shut up and come fake make out with me." Lexa demanded suggestively, unsteadily pulling Clarke to her feet by the hand with a smirk and a wiggle of the eyebrows.  
Well that was unfortunately hot Clarke thought, as Lexa dragged her out of the room, their fingers intertwining once again that evening.  
Clarke was vaguely aware of Finn fixing a furious glare at the two of them as she was hauled by the hand through the kitchen, past the booming speakers and to the coat cupboard under the stairs. Clarke heard steps behind her and realised it was Octavia, chasing after them with her phone timer. She tugged against Lexa's grip and turned to face O.  
"Seven minutes, right?"  
Octavia nodded. Clarke swallowed nervously and gave her a curt nod, before turning back to Lexa, who grinned and pulled her into the closet before her. She vaguely heard Octavia's muffled voice shouting as the door began to close.  
"TIME STARTS NOW!"  
The door clicked shut, and everything went black. 

It was a lot more claustrophobic in the closet than Clarke had hoped, and in the darkness the two shifted around uncomfortably. An elbow to the ribs, someone's arm in a jacket, a foot kicking a pile of junk and then finally someone finds the light switch and it blinks to life with a buzz. The two girls immediately pressed themselves to opposing walls of the closet, arms folded and bodies practically swallowed up by the coats hanging off of hooks behind them. Clarke stared intensely at the floor, and she could tell Lexa was doing the same, so risked a glance up to glimpse the girl's face paint and cleared her throat.  
"You know uhh. You know we can just talk right?" Clarke mumbled, leaning into the wall behind her and almost falling over in her drunk stupor.  
"Hmm?" Lexa replied, finally breaking the awkward eye contact to glance at Clarke.  
"Like in here. We can just talk for seven minutes. The other stuff... the kissing wasn't part of the deal." Clarke reiterated, running a hand through her hair.  
"Oh right, yeah." Lexa replied with a hint of something in her voice that Clarke couldn't quite identify. This girl was so full of unidentified mannerisms and frankly Clarke was starting to get frustrated that she wasn't able to fully understand Lexa. She was just a lot of confusion.  
Neither girl spoke for a while after that, just stood, huddled in each others confined corners of the tiny cupboard with the music vaguely pumping through the door.

"Four minutes left!" Octavia shouted through the door. Lexa darted her eyes back up to Clarke and finally broke the silence, her voice hoarse.  
"What if I want to?"  
Clarke raised an eyebrow.  
"Want to what?"  
"Kiss you." Lexa replied, bluntly. Clarke felt her stomach lurch.  
"Finn isn't here though Lexa, I told you this wasn't part of the deal."  
"What if I want to do it as not part of the deal?"  
(This has to be a joke.)

Clarke widened her eyes and quickly darted her gaze over Lexa's face, trying to find evidence that she was lying hidden in her expression.  
"Uhhh did I miss something?" Clarke mumbled weakly. Lexa didn't reply, but glanced up at her with a look that was almost... vulnerable(?) and shifted her weight against the wall.  
"Look, Lexa you're drunk... I wouldn't want to-"  
"I've been waiting for this all night"  
"Oh."  
"Yeah."  
"What about outside?" Clarke asked, frowning. "You didn't want me to kiss you."  
Lexa sighed fixed her gaze on Clarke's piercing blue eyes.  
"Clarke I thought you were drunk. I didn't want you to make a mistake and think I was abusing our deal."  
Clarke furrowed her brow as this piece of information settled in.  
"Ah." She finally croaked. Lexa folded her arms and raked her gaze up Clarke, her face plastered with an infuriating smug amusement. After a second she finally spoke up.  
"Well if I estimated right, we have just under three minutes until your friend comes barging in and we no longer have a society-approved excuse to make out with each other in a cupboard, so do you fancy making use of that time?" Lexa said, cocking her head and raising an eyebrow inquisitively. Clarke was never going to say no. She was admittedly still trying to wrap her head around the concept that Lexa wanted to willingly make out with her, but fuck all of that worrying; she was just gonna run with it and do the rest of the thinking later. She gave Lexa a grin.  
"Well it'd only be polite."  
"Hm" Lexa nodded, trying to hide her own grin. "I think you might be right."  
And then it seemed the two had run out of things to say and their time was running out, so they decided they might as well kiss. 

Clarke was the one who moved into the kiss, and she threw an arm around Lexa's neck as she pressed her up against the cupboard door with a thump and attached her lips to her mouth, her hips locking the taller girl in place. Lexa involuntarily sighed into Clarke's mouth and in amidst a small heart attack Clarke pushed harder, her tongue sweeping over Lexa's lips. Lexa still insisted on kissing her slowly and softly to begin with but it didn't take long for Clarke to crack her resolve, and then the two were left feverishly kissing eachother with fumbling hands. Clarke eventually let Lexa breathe and planted an open mouthed kiss on her jaw, and Lexa responded by moving to her neck. Clarke could barely think as Lexa bit at her pulse point and gently abseiled her tongue down her neck. That was almost certainly going to leave a mark tomorrow but Clarke was too preoccupied with the firecrackers going off in her head to care. Her hands were trying to find purchase on somewhere other than Lexa's waist, so she settled for the back of her head and between her shoulder blades because god help her she didn't know what else to do when she was this damn turned on. Lexa wasn't holding off on the neck kissing either, as it seemed she'd caught wind of the fact Clarke had liked that a lot, and so had turned it up a gear. Clarke moaned under her breath and threw her head back, allowing Lexa to manoeuvre her so she was the one pinned up against the door as she continued to lick and suck at her throat.  
"Jesus Lex..." Clarke grunted, out of breath, and the brunette pulled away from her neck and pressed their foreheads together with a grin.  
"You taste like tequila." Lexa pointed out.  
"Well if you hadn't nominated me to drink so much..." Clarke replied.  
"That wasn't a bad thing."  
Clarke's eyes darkened as she grinned in response and leaned into another kiss, this time slower; taking her time to explore the fit of Lexa's mouth against her own. Despite the fact Lexa had her pinned to the door, Clarke could tell it wouldn't take a lot to reduce her to a submissive wanton mess; the girl was already out of breath and shaking and guiding Clarke further with her body. Sure, Lexa looked and spoke like a top, but Clarke theorised she wasn't at all because she definitely didn't kiss like one. 

Unfortunately Clarke never got to put this theory to the test because Octavia's phone alarm went off outside the door which was immediately slammed open by O herself. Clarke's balance went and she would have gone toppling over had it not been for Lexa's quick reflexes which saved her from falling. O stood looking smugly at them both as Clarke straightened up and tried to flatten her hair, but to no avail. Lexa was breathing heavily and gave O a curt nod as she dragged Clarke out by the hand.  
"You two have fun?" Octavia asked with a wicked grin. Clarke rolled her eyes and ignored her, following Lexa past the stairwell, her body screaming at her to get close to her again. 

The issue really was that they were both way too turned on. Someone had hit a switch in Clarke's brain and she now couldn't keep her hands off of Lexa. As she was pulled through the kitchen she tugged Lexa's hand and pushed her into a rough, quick kiss. Lexa staggered back into a table and placed a hand down to keep her balance but kissed Clarke back, matching her need and intensity. Clarke was aware that behind them some guy was whooping like an idiot but right now she couldn't care less. At the moment she was more interested in the way Lexa's tongue was searching her mouth and the hot kisses she pressed into Clarke's neck. Clarke was grabbing and pulling and biting and she knew it was all just way too smutty for an open kitchen full of students but she just couldn't help it.  
"I wanna get you out of that damn costume." Lexa whispered into Clarke's ear. Clarke squeezed her eyes shut and her hips involuntarily bucked.  
"Bedroom?" She grunted. Lexa hummed in approval.  
"Bedroom."

And then they were on the move again, Clarke this time leading Lexa through the house by the hand and past the plethora of sweaty, gyrating bodies rammed in the kitchen and hallways and common room. They passed Raven as they climbed upstairs, and she raised an eyebrow in what could easily be overlooked as an expression of pride, but was really just smugness. There were six dorm rooms up this flight of stairs, and for the purposes of this party (and to keep out horny teenagers) they'd all been locked. In a surprisingly fortunate turn of events, Clarke knew that Raven's room could be unlocked by leaning against the door and twisting the handle up "really fucking hard", a fact which Raven herself had disclosed to Clarke when complaining about her campus living conditions. Clarke did this now, her face contorting in effort as she tried to find the exact spot the handle would unlock the door at. It only took a minute of trying, and then the door clicked and Clarke's leaning against it sent it flying open. Lexa snorted and followed behind Clarke, offering a hand to help her up and clicking the door shut behind her. 

It was pitch black in Raven's room, and from what Clarke could tell she'd left engineering textbooks and equipment strewn everywhere in an inevitably treacherous path toward her bed. That in mind, and the fact that the two girls were disoriented from all the alcohol they'd been drinking led Clarke to the decision that trying to get Lexa into the bed was just a Bad Idea. Instead she grabbed Lexa by the lapels of her costume and pushed her up against the door, her hips locking the taller girl in place.  
"How's it going down there fake girlfriend?" Lexa quipped. Clarke rolled her eyes, and realised Lexa probably couldn't appreciate the gesture in the darkness.  
"Just dandy."  
"Am I gonna get paid in more sugar-based snacks for this or...?" Lexa joked, a hand snaking it's way to Clarke's ass.  
"Put it on the fucking tab." Clarke grumbled, and pulled Lexa down into a sloppy kiss. 

It didn't take long for things to take a turn down a decidedly sinful route, and Clarke did in fact get to test her theory about whether Lexa called top or bottom bunk. She gave herself an internal high five when she pushed a thigh up between Lexa's legs and heard the girl groan; saw her basically fall apart.  
She was definitely a bottom.  
Despite that, Lexa seemed to find a way to flip their positions at some point, and Clarke found herself against the door as Lexa gently kissed her way down to her collarbone, nipping at the skin there. There were strong hands clawing at Clarke’s back, and then a fantastic tearing noise and Clarke leant her head back, half sighing-half groaning as Lexa pulled the top of her costume down over her shoulders to rest at her waist, exposing her breasts. There was a hum of approval as Lexa took a second to painstakingly drag her eyes over Clarke’s body, and then a warm hand was cupping her breast, Clarke’s nipples already hardening as Lexa oh so carefully brushed her thumb over the smooth skin. Lexa slowed the kissing down as she kneaded Clarke’s breasts, planting wet kisses down her neck, past her collarbone and stopping in the glorious dip in the middle of her chest.  
“God you’re beautiful” Lexa mumbled, and before Clarke could get out the response she’d opened her mouth to say, Lexa had her tongue raking over a firm nipple and was sucking a mark onto her flesh and biting and- oh god her hands were everywhere so Clarke couldn’t help the high pitched moan that escaped her throat.

Lexa seemed to react to that even more and let out a small groan, grinding into Clarke’s thigh, eliciting another moan from the blonde. This time Lexa pulled away from Clarke’s breasts and let out a breathless laugh.  
“You like that,huh?” Lexa asked with a quirk of the eyebrow. Clarke could barely speak for the adrenaline coursing through her (and she was pretty sure her heart was in her mouth) but she nodded and eventually managed to huff out a “Fuck yes Lex”.  
That seemed to be all the encouragement Lexa needed, because then her hands were gripping Clarke’s waist and she was kissing her way down her body, running her tongue over Clarke’s stomach and pausing to bite at her hips.

Clarke’s hands were lost in thick, wavy hair and her mind was apparently in another universe, sending jolts to her very core with every touch from the brunette until Lexa was eventually on her knees and kissing Clarke's inside thigh.  
"Can I..?" Lexa asked quietly, leaning her head against Clarke's leg. Clarke swallowed breathlessly and darted her eyes over her face. Seeing Lexa on her knees for her was enough to make Clarke want to scream, but she simply gritted her teeth and nodded, her hand gently clenching in Lexa's hair.  
"Please."  
And then it was all a blur as Clarke fumbled to pull herself out of her costume and Lexa was staring at her with those god damn hungry eyes. It took them a few minutes of trial and error and a combination of helpful and not-so-helpful guidance ("Clarke you gotta help me out here, it's dark."  
"What do you want, a glow in the dark map of my vagina?"  
"Well if you've got one going..."  
"Lexa you aren't funny, just. Here. Take my hand.") but it didn’t take long for things to get serious again when Lexa finally went in for the kill, planting a gentle kiss at the top of Clarke’s lips. Clarke immediately gasped and this goaded Lexa on, into increasing her pressure and gently pushing her tongue through her folds to finally taste Clarke’s wetness. She hummed with satisfaction and moved in again, this time harder, sweeping her tongue up and down Clarke’s slick cunt until she found her clit. Lexa smiled to herself, logging the small twitch Clarke had given her as response and zoning in on the sensitive area, applying even more pressure and rapidly running her tongue up and down. Clarke almost screamed, a hand flying up to her mouth to keep quiet. Lexa adjusted her head and swept her tongue back through her folds, lapping up the taste Clarke’s arousal was providing.

“Mmmhhh. Somebody’s all wet…” Lexa teased, dipping her tongue deeper, grazing Clarke’s entrance. Clarke bucked against the wall and squirmed, clearly trying to hold off of saying something. It was fine to Lexa though; she knew how to play this game. She’d just have to push it out of Clarke. And so the brunette continued licking and sucking and kissing at Clarke’s sex, teasing her entrance time and time again and denying Clarke any more than she was giving, no matter how many times Clarke tried to grind her clit onto her tongue. And eventually Clarke cracked, blurting out the words Lexa had so desperately wanted to hear.  
“Jesus Christ Lexa, fuck me.”  
Lexa pulled away from Clarke, her mouth and chin coated in her slick wetness.  
“Ask nicely and maybe you’ll get it” she replied in a low growl, her eyes dark. Clarke blinked once in astonishment, clearly surprised at Lexa’s sudden control before realising she was going to have to play along to get what she wanted. So, somewhat begrudgingly, she looked away from Lexa and mumbled  
“Please fuck me Lexa.”  
“Good girl.”

And then Lexa carefully slid her middle finger through Clarke’s wetness and up into her heat, until she was up to the knuckle. Clarke let out a guttural moan and whispered  
“More please” before Lexa nodded and added a second finger, slowly moving them in and out with increasing speed. It wasn’t long before her arm was pumping and she had her mouth back on Clarke’s clit and Clarke was moaning and shaking and so sure she was going to come undone completely for this girl because Jesus Christ Lexa knew how to fuck her.

The only thing that really didn't turn out so well was when Octavia arrived. 

"Jesus fuck Lex..." Clarke grunted as she bucked her hips, rolling her sex against Lexa's tongue. She knew she was close, just a few more thrusts-  
There was a knock on the door.  
"Clarke I know you're in there but I need a lift home."  
Shit, Clarke had been in here longer than she'd thought. It was Octavia. And by the sound of her voice she was drunk.  
Clarke groaned and turned her face so her cheek was up against the door, not easing up as Lexa swung her leg over her shoulder to get better access to her clit.  
"O I'm kind of fucking busy here. Also drunk." Clarke called through the door.  
"Jeez thanks Clarke." Came Octavia's slurred reply.  
"In the kindest way possible, please fuck off Octavia."  
There was a pause and then O replied.  
"Okay Clarke. Enjoy yourself and please tell whoever it is to use a condom because I don't want you to get pregnant."  
"It's Lexa Octavia."  
"Then tell Lexa to put on a condom. I'm "fucking off" now so goodbye."  
And so Octavia did just that, leaving the two to continue, condom or sans. 

It wasn’t long after that that Clarke started to feel her orgasm building and she gripped the back of Lexa’s head, goading her on.  
“Fuck, don’t stop, I’m so close.”  
Lexa didn’t stop, and in fact took it up just a bit more, licking quicker and pumping her fingers in and out faster until Clarke began to shake.  
“Oh god I’m going to cum” Clarke groaned, and then she felt a white heat burning from her toes up to her stomach and she was shaking and she felt herself come all over Lexa’s hand and her legs were giving way and she was moaning Lexa’s name and then she was sliding down to the base of the door with groan, her face flushed and sweaty and her breath coming in ragged bursts. 

"Holy... Shit."  
Lexa took a deep breath and dropped to the floor, wiping Clarke’s cum off her chin with her hand.  
"You okay there Clarke?"  
Clarke nodded.  
"That was fucking amazing."  
Lexa grinned, allowing herself a slither of pride. She craned her neck to the side and winced; that position was wildly more awkward than she'd expected and she was pretty sure she had lock-jaw now. It was worth it though, to see Clarke gasping for air, rosy cheeked and satisfied. The two girls gave themselves a few minutes to breathe and gather themselves before Clarke finally spoke, her voice coming out slightly hoarse.  
"Uhhh we should probably go downstairs y'know. We've been gone for a while"  
Lexa cleared her throat and nodded, eyes wide.  
"Jeez it didn't feel long."  
"Tell me about it"  
"You might wanna fully pull your costume up Clarke." Lexa pointed out, nodding to Clarke's exposed breasts. Clarke blushed and quickly tried to cover herself up.  
"Shit sorry."  
"No, no it's fine Griffin. Obviously I don't mind it, I just think everyone downstairs... might."  
The two girls' eyes met in the darkness and they both snorted with laughter, quickly climbing to their feet. 

Lexa took a few attempts to twist the door handle open in the darkness which Clarke immediately leapt upon as a chance to flip her around and sneak an intense kiss.  
“MMph you taste like pussy.” Clarke mumbled.  
“Mhm. Tastes good, right?” Lexa replied, her eyes glinting in the darkness. Clarke seemed to lean in, eager to taste herself on Lexa’s tongue again, but the brunette managed to place her hands on Clarke’s hips and flip their positions again so she could wrestle with the door, much to Clarke’s amusement. Eventually the latch budged and the door swung open with a thud. Clarke shielded her eyes from the intense lights above the stairway as she stepped out onto the landing.  
"Well we're definitely gonna get some abuse for this." Lexa pointed out, joining her side and threading her hand through Clarke's. Clarke shrugged.  
"Ehhh I dunno. I reckon they might be drunk enough that they didn't even realise we were gone."  
Lexa nodded, her face deadly serious.  
"Mhm, a valid point. However I do have a counter proposal."  
Clarke raised an eyebrow and shot her a look of exasperation from the corner of her eye. Dear god that girl was another level of businesswoman.  
"Oh fantastic. What's that Lexa?"  
"Well, I think my eye paint on your legs might be another giveaway."  
"Your wha-?"  
And then Clarke glanced down and noticed in mild horror that Lexa's eye paint seemed to have... transferred… while they were fucking. It was now smeared all over her inside thighs and leading up into her costume line. Lexa's face hadn't fared much better, with her eye paint faded and smudged across her nose and cheekbones.  
"Oh my god no." Clarke muttered. What was even better was that Clarke couldn't seem to get it to rub off properly, much to Lexa's amusement. Clarke was having an equally hard time trying to flatten her hair and adjust her wonky costume, but to no avail.  
"Look just go downstairs Clarke; I'm sure nobody will notice."  
"Oh yeah sure, like they won't notice that YOUR black face paint is all over my-" Lexa shot her a warning look and Clarke took a breath.  
"Okay fine let's just go."

A lot of people would say that walking across hot coals is a nasty experience. 

Clarke liked to think that making the walk of shame down the stairs to join Raven made treading hot coal seem like a pleasant stroll on a beach. 

It felt like everyone's eyes were on her and Lexa, making their way downstairs hand in hand. Raven made eye contact from the bottom of the stairs, arms crossed and snorted. There were murmurs, a few jeers and an unmistakable look of defeat on Finn's face from where he was stood, rubbing Murphy's back as he was sick into a bin. Octavia seemed to have gone amiss which Clarke was pretty grateful for, but the whooping noises from the other students at the foot of the stairs doubly made up for her absence. Clarke was fine with it. Let them look and joke, she wasn't about to give a fuck. She just straightened up, stuck her chin out and grinned. It seemed that Lexa wasn't faring so well and had flushed a deep crimson and was staring with great intensity at the floor. Clarke squeezed her hand and when she was met by bold, green eyes, shot Lexa a reassuring wink. Lexa smiled weakly and straightened up very slightly. When they reached the foot of the stairs Raven didn't hesitate to leap in with snide comments.

"You enjoy yourself Griffin?"  
"On your bed I did Reyes."  
Raven's jaw dropped.  
"You better fucking not have-"  
"Clarke's just joking around" Lexa quickly intercepted, sensing Raven's anger brewing. Raven narrowed her eyes suspiciously but didn't reply, trying to work out if Clarke's girlfriend was in fact being honest.  
"She's telling the truth Raven..." Clarke said, and Raven's shoulders dropped in obvious relief "She's telling the truth because we didn't fuck on your bed. I’d probably give your sofa a wipe down though." Clarke continued with a grin.  
"Right that's it Griffin, you're dead." Raven growled, her face like thunder. And then inspired by her own drunken stupor, Raven was lunging for Clarke and tackling her into the crowd of students behind Lexa. The group went sprawling in a tangle of limbs and shouts and curses, and around them a circle immediately formed of students drunkenly shouting and cheering the fight. Lexa sprung into action and leapt into the pile to drag Raven and Clarke out by their arms with a grunt. Once Lexa had them free she dragged them apart and stood between them with a wide stance to stop Reyes from attacking Clarke again. 

"JESUS RAVEN" Clarke gasped "you need to CALM THE FUCK DOWN."  
Raven was seething.  
"Fuck off Griffin."  
Lexa rolled her eyes.  
"Okay I think we're all very tired and drunk. Perhaps we can all just say sorry and call it a night before someone gets hurt."  
Silence from both girls. Lexa shot a furious glare at Clarke.  
"Clarke, apologise."  
"Lexaaa..."  
"Nope, no whining. Say you're sorry."  
Clarke huffed and considered protesting for around eight seconds before Lexa's furious glare proved to be too intense and Clarke began to blush.  
"Ugh fine okay. Raven I'm sorry I said me and Lexa... used your bed."  
Raven's ragged breathing had begun to slow down and through her drunken stupor her eyes focussed and she slowly nodded. Lexa was pretty sure none of that had gotten through to Raven through the beer-haze but she wasn't trying to throttle Clarke anymore so that was frankly good enough.

"Now Raven I think you need to go have some water and sober up and get some rest cause hell are you drunk." Lexa said, and dropped an arm from Clarke to steer Raven in the direction of her room. Raven dumbly nodded.  
"Yeah okay thassa plan wonderwoman."  
Before either girl could bid Raven goodnight, she was staggering her way upstairs, clinging to the banister for dear life. Lexa watched her ascend with raised eyebrows and let out a low whistle.

"Boy is that gonna feel heavy tomorrow."  
Clarke gave a pained nod. Lexa shook herself out of her daze and turned to face Clarke sternly.  
"So what am I gonna do with you?"  
Clarke shrugged as casually as she could manage.  
"Well you could always escort me back to my place."  
Lexa cocked her head as though she was chewing this over and pulled Clarke toward her by the waist.  
"Mhm..." She replied calmly, like she was considering a business proposal. Clarke swallowed and looked her dead in the eye.  
"And well, you know. You could perhaps stay the night."  
Lexa quirked an eyebrow.  
"And uh, should you sleep in the same bed as me, and should we end up fucking again then I definitely won't complain." Clarke finished, trying her hardest to keep a straight face. Lexa hummed in approval.  
"See, that sounds just a little bit too tempting."  
“Besides, I think I owe you a bit more than a bag of twix now. I have another… favour to repay.” Clarke murmured.  
“Let’s head back to yours then.” Lexa nodded  
And so that was exactly what they did. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Author's Note:**

> Whew. You all know where that goes next. This was my first fic so please let me know what you thought! Big love <333


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